Am I going to die alone?

I don't think so. I feel the same way sometimes. I'm 13 though so I suppose that's just the whole whiny teenage thing going on with me. You sound like a really wonderful guy. Ya know not every girl wants a muscular, rich, overly tan guy that looks like he's off of jersey shore. There's a girl out there that will love you for you. I promise. You might have to wait but it will be worth it. I hope you find someone very soon. (: Whatever you do don't give up.